Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Today is a new day!

I started typing this post yesterday but just could not stop crying to put any kind of positive spin on the day. Yesterday was just plain YUCKY (to use a preschooler term in case my kids ever read this blog). From the blog, you can tell that I typically share the fun of our week or the silly of our week but I struggle with the things that are deeply emotional for me. I struggle with those things anyway and am the type of person that keeps it in for the most part until I have one of those days where it all just surfaces...that day was yesterday.

I had the final deposition for my divorce. It just seems that 13 years of marriage can be disolved rather quickly and it almost seems too easy. Anyway, I had lots of conflicting feelings related to the deposition and the discussions with the attourney and my soon to be ex. Apparently the divorce will now happen in the next few weeks. I won't even be in court and at some point, I'll get a notice in the mail that my marriage is officially over. No showdown in court, no messiness...just no longer married. I can't even begin to process the feelings.

Then, I had to deal with taxes. Yes, we seperated in December and were filing jointly so we had to deal with that last night. I know that it is my civil obligation but I REALLY HATE TAXES!!!!! Then, we were not able to use all of the adoption tax credit so now we will have to deal with that again next year! UGH!

After all of that and the wee ones were in bed, I finally listened to the messages on my machine and found out that a dear friend from church who had battled cancer for a while had passed away yesterday. Bless her and her family! That news is what tipped me to the other side and I crumbled in a puddle of tears. The ironic thing is that my friend, Delilah, and her husband are the ones that completed the premarital counseling with Wes and I. I became close to Delilah during this time years ago and have prayed so much for her during this recent battle. Please keep her family in your prayers. Delilah was an AMAZING woman and she will be greatly missed.

The positive spin....Today is a new day!


Cora said...

Today is a new day and don't feel you had a terrible day yesterday. And sometimes you just need to let it out.
I am sorry all those things hit you at once, talk about overload of emotions, Yucky is a perfect word.
I hope this new days goes better.
Take Care,

zsjmom said...

a new day indeed - keep putting one foot in front of the other, and I will keep praying.

Jboo said...

I am so sorry that you had such a terrible day. Keeping you and your friend's family in my thoughts and prayers. Hoping the next few days improve and get better for you. Take care.


Mama Duck said...

My heart aches for you...divorce is terribly difficult (I know), and the death of a dear friend must be so hard to shoulder on top of it all. Hang in there with that positive attitude, and focus on those wee ones.

Denise said...


redmaryjanes said...

I am so sorry Margaret. I think of you often and I know that your heart is aching. Every day will make things better, you will see.
You are in my prayers.

Faith, Hope, and Love said...

Oh Margaret, I'm so very sorry for your "yucky" day yesterday and then losing a dear friend on top of it all. The irony of Delilah and your marriage... almost unbelievable. Yes, today is a new day! It will get better one step at a time. Don't ever let go of your hope. My mother always said "This too shall pass".

Love and hugs to you from St. Louis!

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and he will make straight your path.
Prov. 3:5-6

bbmomof2boys said...

Rough day. I know its hard to keep smiling in tough times. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through some of the things that are happening in your life. Just look your sweeties and take one step at a time. You can get through this!


Lynne said...

I am friends with Tamara Page and glanced at your blog through hers. I am so sorry to hear of your difficult times! Know that God has you in his arms and praise Him that He is in control even when life seems to be spinning out of control.
Blessings to you and your beautiful little ones.
Lynne C said...

Oh, Margaret! I know how hard this is. The civil process just sterilizes the whole thing, doesn't it??? I remember feeling like I had gotten kicked in the stomach when Bryan & I ended officially. It was like someone just thoughtlessly removed a huge portion of my life & disposed of it. I'm just now going through my annulment process & it has been almost as painful! The good thing now is that Bryan and I are great friends & really pull together where Jamie is concerned...I hope this helps...divorce is just ugly, no matter how you slice it. For me, it's a wound that never fully healed. I just had to incorporate it into my life. Much love, Mary

allie :^) said...

oh babe, I LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY CAKES. now and always and forever and ever and ever. ;) allie :)

FHL said...

Sending a huge hug your way. I can't even imagine how hard all of this must be, but I admire you so much for your ability to go forward with such grace. You're beautiful my friend!