Letting go and saying goodbye...

It is really hard to let go of the people we love and say goodbye. Papa Jim lived a long and loving life and he passed away last night. We know that he is no longer suffering and is at peace in heaven. It is still hard to let go.

Lily, Graeme and I arrived in Louisiana about 7:30 p.m. last night. We went straight to the hospital and my friend Angela met us there. She entertained and fed Lily and Graeme while I went to see Papa Jim. My sister said it best when she told me that I was trully blessed with wonderful friends and I am. God placed Angela right where I needed her last night and I am forever grateful!

I saw Jim and he was fighting so hard to breathe. His whole family was there and everyone knew that he was letting go. There was so much love in that room for this wonderful man. All of his children, many of his grandchildren, my mother and all of her children were with him. I would love to say that his transition was peaceful but this strong man fought until the end. Bless him! I know that he is at peace now and that is a blessing.

As I was updated while driving, I shared with Lily as best I could what was happening. We talked about how Papa Jim had lived a long life and that God and Jesus may need him in heaven soon. (How do you explain something you hardly comprehend to a child) We talked about how we would not get to see Papa Jim and that would make us and lots of other people sad. We also talked about how Papa Jim would live on in the hearts of those who loved him.

Last night, I told Lily that Papa was now in heaven and we talked more about how he lived in her heart. We talked about how he would be there in spirit for so many things that she would do that he would have missed because we lived so far away. One of the biggest events that we talked about was when she dances in the Nutcracker. I told her that he will be able to see her from heaven. She then exclaimed, "Oh Mama...Papa Jim will get to dance in the Nutcracker too since he is in my heart!" Then she giggled the sweetest most contagious giggle and I got tickled too. Then she said, "Mama, I feel so much love in my heart." I should have known she would lead me. Thank you God for all the love that fills our hearts and for having Papa Jim touch and bless our lives so completely.